🙏 Building Bridges
Finding common ground across divides
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” —Peter Drucker
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9, ESV).
🎧 Here’s a laid-back audio version of this week’s column, with key insights and reflections in my own voice. It’s not a word-for-word narration—more like a friendly chat.
It’s easy to feel relaxed when life flows smoothly. Last week, we reflected on how differences within families can strengthen bonds. A mother and son, shaped by distinct experiences, still found devotion in their daily interactions. This week, we widen that lens: What happens when the gap is larger, or the path less familiar? What happens when the person across from us isn’t a relative or friend, but someone with a different background or who holds beliefs that challenge our own worldview?
I once sat on a community panel where another speaker and I held sharply different views. At first, I focused on what divided us and braced for friction. Then he mentioned his daughter. I shared a story about a neighbor. The tone shifted. The words didn’t matter as much as the feelings behind them. Something opened between us. The underlying disagreement persisted, but it was superseded by a tacit understanding that finding common ground mattered more than repeating entrenched opinions. Just by saying “I’m listening,” that moment became an anchor point. It didn’t solve everything, but it created enough space for a steady dialogue to take hold.
Building a metaphorical bridge requires practice. Real bridges aren’t just decorative; they’re functional and built to carry weight. In Montréal, the old Jacques Cartier Bridge supports thousands of vehicles daily, enduring heat, snow, traffic, and time. The bridge functions effectively because it was engineered to withstand strain without collapsing. It expands and contracts with temperature changes, adapting to stress rather than fighting against it. Our relationships demand that same kind of resilience: the ability to manage tension, not evade it.
Digital technology creates similar opportunities. Video calls connect grandparents with grandchildren across continents. Last month, I relied on a translation app to discuss poetry with a Bengali friend online. The tools are less important than our desire to genuinely understand one another.
You probably have a relationship that feels incomplete—someone you've misunderstood, drifted away from, or haven't reached out to in too long. This week, choose one small action that builds a connection. Share a message that evokes a specific memory. Call with an open question. Or listen fully without planning your response. Afterward, write down what surprised you about their perspective and what you learned about them and yourself from that exchange. These small moments often reveal the common ground that might have been there all along, waiting to be discovered.
The oak trees in my yard beautifully demonstrate this principle. Their roots extend far beyond their visible canopies, sometimes intertwining with neighboring trees underground despite appearing separate above. Similarly, our deepest connections often lie beneath the surface differences we initially notice. With gentle attention and care, we can uncover these hidden links.
Strong relationships are built and maintained through consistent care. Like well-designed bridges, these connections don’t eliminate differences; instead, they provide a safe passage across them. Next week, we’ll close the month by returning to what unites us: the human spirit. We’re more alike than you may think.
This article appeared in FLORIDA TODAY as Finding common ground: Tension, care and connection across divides | Spirituality Today.
beautiful bridge, thanks for sharing