🙏 Gratitude Lessons from Mom
Life, Love, and Letting Go—The Lessons That Truly Matter
On October 11, my mother, Joyce Tilley, passed away at the age of 87. She was my last immediate family member, and saying goodbye to her has been one of my most intense and unforgettable experiences. The Holiday season has inspired me to reflect on the lessons she taught me, which resonate deeply with the season of gratitude. My mother’s life—and her passing—has helped me understand three essential aspects of gratitude: life, love, and letting go.
Life: I was adopted in 1964, and from the moment she brought me home, my mom made sure I knew I was loved and wanted. Being adopted gave me a unique sense of belonging and identity, and I owe my very existence as part of a family to her decision to welcome me into her life. That decision taught me gratitude for the opportunities we’re given, not just the ones we’re born into. She often said I was her pride and joy, and though we were a small family—just the two of us after my father passed in 2018—we were strong and connected.
Love: My mother was a constant presence, always there when I needed her. Through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, she stood by me through every milestone—marriage, divorce, career changes, and illness. As an only child, her love was my anchor, and I never doubted that she was on my side. Her generosity and care taught me the importance of showing up for those you love. Even in her last days, her love shone through, despite her unresponsiveness. She taught me to appreciate the quiet ways love is expressed: a touch, a shared memory, or just being present.
Letting Go: This is the hardest lesson to learn. In her final days, I had to make the same decision I faced with my father—to let go of life-sustaining measures and focus on her comfort. She passed peacefully, wearing nothing but a hospital gown, with a few family photos by her bedside and me holding her hand. It was a stark reminder that at the end of our lives, we leave behind everything except love. Her life, distilled into those final moments, left me with a profound realization: we spend so much energy worrying about things that ultimately don’t matter.
One of her favorite phrases toward the end was “let it happen.” She taught me, in life and death, to release control and embrace the inevitability of change. Whether it was worrying about finances or trivial concerns, she reminded me that sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself is to simply let go.
In this Holiday season, I carry these lessons forward with gratitude. Life is a gift, love is our legacy, and letting go is an act of grace. My mom’s life and passing have taught me that the only thing that truly matters is the care we show for others. That’s the most important lesson I will ever learn.